5 Myths You've Probably Believed About Medication

It's a touchy subject I know.

Not many people want to talk about mental health. It can really be a hot button topic, and difficult because it's also a very sensitive topic.

But there is such stigma surrounding it...

|| STIGMA {noun}: a set of negative, and often unfair, beliefs that a society or group of people have about something. ||

And one of the biggest stigmas surrounding mental health is about medication.

So I've decided to shed some light on the subject.

{{Now this is not just from my experience. This is from the experience of many others, and it's also backed up by research. I would not share any of this with you if I didn't have FACTS for you. Believe me, people who give their personal, uninformed opinions and anecdotes bother me just as much as it does the rest of you.}}

Here are 5 "myths" about medication...replaced by TRUTH...


{1} Myth: Medication will make you "numb".

Truth:  Finding a medication that works is a "trial and error" process. If you start on one that completely changes you, and makes you feel too mellow or subdued...then you need to try a different one, or maybe a different dosage of the one you are on.  Certain types can also "tweak" some anxiety, making it worse {and sometimes unbearable!} for awhile. But that side effect typically doesn't last for more than the first week or two, until your body adjusts, which is why it's essential to "hang in there" with it for awhile before giving up on it totally. But it is completely false that all meds will change your entire personality.


{2} Myth: All you need to overcome depression/anxiety is more willpower...the "just try harder" mentality.

Truth: Let me ask you this...if your child falls out of a tree and breaks her leg, and she's in a great deal of pain and can't walk, would you say to her, "You just aren't trying hard enough to get better"? Or...if you're lying in bed with pneumonia, do you think you can just WILL your body to heal itself? That's ridiculous right? You treat the problem. A disorder of the mind, like depression and anxiety, is a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected. It doesn't matter how much willpower you try to muster up. If your chemistry is off, you can't "fix yourself" with self-talk. Just as a broken bone is extremely physically painful and shows up on an x-ray, or pneumonia is an infection that attacks the body, a chemical imbalance {even if you can't SEE it} is just as real and TREATABLE.


{3} Myth: Going on medication means that you are "crazy".

Truth: A lot of people associate mental illness with school shootings and/or other violent episodes. There is a spectrum to mental illness. But people don't want to be perceived as "mad" or "mental". Above, I talked about a chemical imbalance. Depression is a symptom of that imbalance. It doesn't make you weak or lazy, and especially not crazy! Even the highest levels of mental illness {personality disorder, schizophrenia, etc.} have symptoms that subside and lessen when treated with medication. 


{4} Myth: Antidepressants are addictive.

Truth: It is very important to communicate with your doctor about the medication you are taking. Let's go back to the "trial and error" concept. Just like when it's making you feel worse or "numb", if your meds make you feel TOO GOOD, or more UP  than you should be, that's a red flag, and your doctor should know about it...because that's when it could be dangerous. AND! Once again, that's when it's time to switch to something else. Hence, trial and error.  


{5} Myth: Someone you know took antidepressants and got terrible side effects from it, so you will probably experience it too.

Truth: This truth is pretty simple and doesn't need much explanation...
Medication affects every person differently. One person's side effects and problems with ONE KIND of medication, are not going to be the same for you.

Now, don't get me wrong...

I am all for other methods of treatment!

There's cognitive behavioral therapy {CBT}...which can be great as long as you have a good therapist, and self-talk alone is helpful for you.

There's natural remedies, such as over the counter {OTC} supplements, and essential oils.

And many more!

And I've seen these things work for people...and I think it's great! But some people are a bit more "treatment resistant". And it takes something extra...something more...to truly help them get better.

I would love to hear from ANYONE on this subject! Have you been affected by depression and anxiety, or other mood disorders? Do you take medication, or do you have other ways of dealing with it? Did I miss anything here that should maybe be added to this list of "MYTHS"? Let's talk, and let's end the stigma together!

I've got the Music in Me!

Linking up with Bailey @ Brave Love today...haven't really been keeping up with the #blogtember challenge, but I was pretty excited to start here!

Today's Blog-tember challenge is to put your music playlist on shuffle and share the first 10 songs that play.

I was pretty excited to try this. Being a dance teacher and choreographer...plus a girl with such wide music interests, from classical, to oldies, to Broadway, to Top 40, to movie scores...I have quite a "hodge-podge" of music on my phone! I couldn't wait to see what came up!

Without further ado...my TOP 10...

{1} Adagio in G minor for Strings & Organ

Oh I am so happy this one popped up first! This is probably my most favorite classical piece EVER! I saw a pas de deux {ballet duet} done to this that took my breath away & brought tears to my eyes! This piece gives me chills! Even if you're not a die-hard classical music fan like me, listen to it anyway. It's so soothing, it will completely de-stress your mind!

{2} Good Morning by Mandisa {ft. Toby Mac}

I haven't listened to this in awhile! It's a good way to wake up :))

{3} Shake it Out by Florence + the Machine

Because you just can't have a playlist without Florence! I so love her music because not a single one of her songs is like the other!

{4} Promises in the Dark by Pat Benatar

Oooh, I got lucky here! This is my favorite Pat Benatar song! Such a HUGE voice for such a tiny person, haha! And the note that she hits at 2:39 ish...ohhh myyyy goodnesssss!

{5} Your Song by Ellie Goulding

The sweetest cover of the Elton John song! I used this song for one of my solo dancers in our summer recital this year!

{6} Breath of Life by Florence + the Machine

Ah, more Florence! But, of course! This song, from "Snow White and the Huntsman", is possibly the most epic, incredible song she's ever done! There is not much like it anywhere else! For those who know me well, you'll think a song like this is out of character for me...haha! Not so! I'm DYING to choreograph this one! THAT would be a stretch for me!

{7} 50 Ways to Leave your Lover by Paul Simon

Haha, here's a funny little oldie for ya! Paul Simon {as in Simon & Garfunkle} is awesome :))

{8} Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins

Because.......yeah.

No explanation needed :))

{9} When it Comes by Tyler Hilton

I actually heard this song on the show "One Tree Hill" and loved it! I use this a lot for warm-ups for my students in my dance classes.

{10} Caislean Oir by Clannad

Because no playlist is complete without a serene, Irish Gaelic song! Probably sounds odd to some, but I really love Clannad! And for you those of you who have heard of Enya, Clannad's lead singer is Enya's sister! I just think they make beautiful music, even though it's very New Age-y. 

and here's 5 extra because it's fun!

Danse Macabre by Camille Saint-Sans

{if the first song is my favorite classical piece ever, this is my second! LOL! it's such a fun piece, played often around halloween. If you listen to it, it'll be obvious why.}

Sparks and Shadows by Twila Paris

{i was totally obsessed with her growing up! such an icon in Christian music in the 90s and early 00s}

Eric's Song by Vienna Teng

{another unknown. worth listening to. she wrote an entire love song without using the word "love". it's perfect.}

Stand in the Rain by Superchic[k]

Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac

{cool! i didn't think they would come up, haha! they are my favorite oldie group.}

So what is playing on YOUR playlist right now??

One Down...

...And a whole lot more to go.

So...this has been a good week.

And I mean, a really really good week! 

Probably because I'm starting to get back into the swing of things. I finally got to go back to ballet class after a six week break {can we say, WAY TOO LONG?!}, a new choir season has begun, I've gotten a whole new group of dance students at one location, and I'm getting ready to welcome another group of students at another location! 

But I think the main reason is because I was able to accomplish one of my "easier" goals.

Cleaning and redecorating my room.

And I love it! It's sweet and elegant...like Audrey Hepburn, who is pretty much the "theme" to my room. The "Tiffany Blue" color of the sheets make me so happy and relaxed, and I plan to add other accents in that color later.

The "newness" of all of this...and the fact that it's actually CLEAN...just makes me feel 10 times better about everything else. Even about just BEING IN my room! 

Now...the moving forward part...this is where things get tricky.

A good week like this...several days in a row of feeling THIS GOOD...

I have no idea when the inevitable "drop" is going to come, or how I'm going to handle it.

Redecorating the room...and GETTING it clean...that was the easy part. Or...well...relatively easy, in comparison to the rest of this...

• KEEPING the room clean.
• Sticking to a schedule for practicing music, & for writing.
• Growing in my relationship with God.
• Exercising regularly {apart from my Monday night ballet class}
• Finding a way of eating that works for me {including learning to plan meals ahead of time to avoid "food anxiety'}.

That last one is going to be the toughest one...and if I spent time going into all of the "whys" about it, we'd be here for a long time.

So I'll just say this..."eating plans" always, always, ALWAYS equal unhealthy thoughts for me. I've tried so many different tactics. I always end up back in a very bad place.

{Someday I'll write more about this...it's just not the right time.}

Really, they are all going to be hard. And most people would wonder why...because for most people all of these things are just part of a normal lifestyle. However, people with mood disorder aren't normal. I've said before that it makes what should be everyday tasks, a lot harder.

Which is why a good week like this is scary...but I'm learning how to enjoy this "UP", and to take advantage of it and make it great...and trying very hard to not worry about how long it's gonna last before I "go down again."

One down...and a whole lot more to go.

I'll Never Get Tired of...

I'll never get tired of...

Watching birdies on the bird feeder.

Having "Friends" or "Gilmore Girls" episodes on in the background while doing something else.

{Like right now..."Friends" is my background soundtrack}

Sweet iced tea & Coffee {in pretty much any form}!

Going to ballet class.

Making new friends.

Taking naps in the middle of the day.

Beautiful sunsets.

Watching old musicals...Singin' In the Rain, Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, My Fair Lady...the possibilities are endless! 

Falling asleep to the sound of a thunderstorm.

Attending services at my AMAZING church!

Getting dressed up.

Really, really long walks.

Thinking about happy things like this :))

An Unexpected Blessing

In my post from last week, I wrote about how scary and hard it is for me to be vulnerable.

Tonight I had an opportunity to put that to the test.

I got to join my roommate's Bible study, and just those couple of hours spent with some other beautiful ladies, whom I didn't even know well, blessed me so much!

On my way back to my apartment after running errands, I knew all the girls would already be there, and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do once I arrived. I was having a pretty low day, and I felt very antisocial and down. The majority of me just wanted to slip quietly into my bedroom and lay low for the rest of the night. But I also knew that if they asked me to join them, I would feel bad about saying no.

So, they asked...and I said yes...and that was a good decision.

We talked A LOT and had A LOT of good discussion so I won't talk about all of it, because there are probably so many tangents I could go off into...and probably would, HA! But I will say the greatest things I took away from this time tonight...

Sharing a prayer request with a group.

I remember doing this all the time when I was in youth group, high school Bible studies, college groups of all kinds {which is pretty much expected when you go to a small Christian college}...but I hadn't shared anything about myself in front of other people in such a long time. And it was such a relief to talk about something I was struggling with. I didn't have to go into detail. I didn't drag it out. But it was so unbelievably helpful to ask the other girls to pray for me...and to know that they probably would. And most of them hadn't even met me before tonight!

It was such a blessing I wasn't expecting...

I think that's what I've been missing...I spend so much time thinking about {and obviously writing about!} how much I want things to change, and how hard I can be on myself...and it's always, "what can I do to fix this?"  But I think what I need to start saying is, Please pray for me. That's all. Pray for me. I trust God, but I don't trust myself to be able to deal with the "tough stuff" that comes with making changes. I'm ready...like really ready now...to start *fighting* instead of *fleeing*. To persist when things get difficult instead of just giving up. But I also wonder if I'll be able to hold onto any of this. I always try to avoid pain {particularly emotional pain} because when it becomes heavy enough, I end up crawling back under the covers and saying, "Forget it, I can't do this."

This is, unfortunately, the nature of mood disorder.

...and I'm soooooo sick of it. Like...so ridiculously SICK. OF. IT. And as many times as I've said that {A LOT!} I think I've finally hit the point of actually being sick and tired *OF* BEING sick and tired!
But at the same time I'm so terrified of it changing, because I've never known anything different.
Terrified, like, feeling my insides shaking, and fighting away the inevitable ugly crying that is going to come with this ACT OF SURRENDER.
But it has to happen.

Thank you to those of you who read this blog.
Thank you to those of you who pray.
Thank you to those of you who are TRUE FRIENDS who STAND BY ME.

linking up with Emily over at Ember Grey blog today :))

UNTITLED...

I'm working with an incredible voice teacher right now. 

I HEARD her sing first...and my mind was completely blown! Her voice was so high and light...beautiful the way it resonated off every part of the room. I'm so fortunate to now have her as my teacher.

I hadn't done much singing at all in the past year and a half {other than choir...which I LOVE!}. Plus, I lost my voice for several weeks while teaching in the classroom.  So, my singing voice, particularly my high notes, are no where near where they used to be...and it should be the opposite. I studied opera through part of high school, and all through college. I saw how my voice grew and developed, and now it's gone backwards.

Just like with ballet...if you don't use it, you lose it.

During the past several lessons I've had with this new teacher, I've been so frustrated with the fact that my high notes just don't come out anymore. I used to be able to hit, and sustain notes ABOVE high C...and to not even be able to get up to a C anymore has been disappointing. During warm ups, I try, and when it doesn't happen, I react with pure lack of confidence.

But today she said, "It's a risk. There's a vulnerability to it. And it's scary. But TAKE the risk...take the plunge. This is a safe space." 

Vulnerability...

Risk...

The two scariest words in my vocabulary. And why?

I've wanted to enter voice competitions before...but I stop myself because I don't think I'm good enough.

I want to enter now, just for the experience...for the feedback...and because singing is FUN for me!

I have, like, TEN topics in my head to write about...but I stop myself from writing them, because I convince myself that no one actually wants to read what I have to say. 

The people who MATTER will read it...those people who really do care. And writing is FUN for me!

On my 101 in 1001 LIST, I said that I want to learn a ballet variation and perfect it...but then I think, what would be the point of that? I'm not going to be able to do it.

And why not? Why not just do it because it's FUN, and it's GOOD for me?

I was very underwhelmed by my own choreography this summer. My students all danced very well, but I couldn't get excited about my work this time. It felt very inadequate.

Okay? So? I'm growing as a choreographer all the time. So what if I've hit a "lull"...it can only become better, right?

I've taken the risk, and been vulnerable with people in my life. They eventually decide that they are tired of Emily's "ups & downs" and walk away.

Again...the people who MATTER will stay. The rest don't matter.

"Take the risk...Take the plunge."

After leaving college, I learned how to find a new sense of confidence. The way everyone saw me during my college years, and even before college, didn't matter anymore because I was a completely different person. All I cared about was who I was in THE NOW. 

What happened to that? Why is my fight or flight response ALWAYS *flight*...or *freeze*? Never *fight*.  My gut reaction is always, "But I don't think I can..."

Returning to singing was a good choice. I have a teacher who is going to push me to "the plunge"...and that's a very good thing right now. I'm gonna need that. 

The One where *HE* writes this time!

I never wanted to go this long with no posts.

Between not having a working computer...and a lack of inspiration...it just didn't happen.

BUT TODAY...

I have something very lovely to share with all of you. 

Someone DID get inspired recently! And he has written something for me to share with all of you!

So enjoy John-David's writing today...

***

So, after I got off work the other night, I was watching one of my favorite TV shows on Netflix.  In the middle of the show, there is an exchange between the two main characters.  And one of the characters said something that was almost SPOT ON with something I've always wondered when it comes to how God views our relationship with Him. Especially when we do something that displeases Him.

To set up the exchange you are about to read...the show is "Doctor Who".  The two characters are the Doctor and his traveling companion, Clara. Clara's boyfriend just died in a horrible car accident, and she wants the Doctor to use his time machine to bring him back to life.  But in asking the Doctor to do this, she tries to control him by throwing away all the keys to his time machine if he tells her that he won't help.  After revealing to her that everything she just did was the result of a dream that the Doctor induced on Clara to see how far she would go, he says he will help her get her boyfriend back.

The following conversation is word for word...

CLARA: You're going to help me?

THE DOCTOR: Why wouldn't I help you?

CLARA:  Because of what I just did.

THE DOCTOR:  You betrayed me, betrayed my trust. You betrayed our friendship. You betrayed everything I've ever stood for. You let me down!

CLARA: Then why are you helping me?

THE DOCTOR: Why? Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?

{A couple minutes later...}

CLARA: I don't deserve a friend like you.

THE DOCTOR: I'm exactly what you deserve.

When I heard the doctor say those things, it literally made me pause the show and think about how that's just like God.  Despite everything we do as humans to disappoint Him, He still wants to be our best and closest friend and help us.  Now, that doesn't mean He'll give us everything our hearts desire.  Because, like children, what we want isn't always what's best for us.  What it does mean, is that no matter what we do to Him and His reputation, it has no bearing on how He views our relationship to Him.  He still wants to be there for us and help us achieve the great things He has in store for us...if we let Him. 

Thank you, God...for your little reminders of who you are through everyday things!