Finding my "Inner Nerd" || #BehindTheBlogger

Tuesday, June 28, 2016


The word “NERD” is associated with several common stereotypes.
And I certainly don't identify with any of them.

I’ve never enjoyed science, and even the simplest math gives me horrible anxiety!
I have no desire to spend a day playing video games.
I strongly dislike sci-fi and comic book related things…both books and movies {Star wars? Batman? Forget it! I'm out!}
I have zero understanding of what it is people like about Anime or Manga!
I'm not socially inept by any means.
And I'm definitely nothing like Urkel from Family Matters…

BUT…MY inner nerd…is something I'm actually kind of proud of!
So while I wouldn't spend an entire day “gaming”, or standing in a mile long line waiting for a comic book convention while wearing a costume, there are several things that I WOULD devote a whole day to if I had the opportunity…

Listening to oldies…
I am more familiar with songs from the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s than I am with any of the music today. In fact, any music from the last 10 years, my “liking” of it is very selective. Personally, I just think music from the generations before mine was so much better!

Reading Classic literature…
Give me Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Anne of Green Gables, Little Women…or anything even remotely similar…any day! All of the main characters are so identifiable even today. I think I enjoy the fact that women so long ago were still struggling with a lot of the same problems we struggle with today. Back in the civil war era, the Victorian era, and even before all of that…someone understood! And I love that! Besides that, I just love the way they talked and acted, and the clothing they wore in those times. I often wish we could go back to that. Added bonus...old books are just really beautiful to me.

Or just reading books in general, really…
I can be really picky about books that I like, especially if they are more contemporary…but I have an entire list on Goodreads! And if I had a whole day, oh believe me I would read the books from my list!

Watching Disney movies…
I'm fairly certain I had every line and lyric of Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, and all the other classic princess movies memorized by the time I was 10 years old. I was pretty much obsessed! And still am. Nowadays I have pretty much memorized every single Disney movie in existence {well okay…with a few exceptions maybe}, because I have an auditory memory that I take a lot of pride in :)). And I still could watch them all over and over and never really get sick of them. Plus if I could go to Disney World all the time, I totally would! And if that makes me “childish” I'm absolutely fine with that! I'll use the verse in Matthew 18, where we are called to be like little children, to justify that ;))

Listening to Broadway Soundtracks…
I think this qualifies me to be a Musical Theatre nerd, and I'll take that label! Wicked, Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, Rent, Hairspray, Mamma Mia, Lion King, Sound of Music…Give me all of them and then more! If musicals were my only given option for something to listen to for the day, I'd be incredibly content with that. I'd have so much to choose from and endless enjoyment from it!

Antique Shopping…
Just let me buy all the pretty Victorian and turn of the century things!! All the beautiful tea sets, old typewriters, phones, and floral home décor!

Attending the symphony, the opera, or the ballet…
…before I would go to any other concert or performance, this is what I would pick! And I would be wide-eyed and on the edge my my seat, enjoying every last note, and every last step.

Correcting people's grammar...
"Grammar nerd" is what I would be called here.
So maybe I wouldn't spend the entire day doing this, and mostly because I'm too nice {ha!}. But I certainly do see a lot of very poor sentence structure throughout the day all over social media that I just wish I could correct people on! Let me just say this people...punctuation is your friend. It helps the rest of us so we don't have to just guess where the end of your sentence is. Dictionaries are also your friend. Correct spelling is a happy thing. And with that, I'll end this passive aggressive soap box moment :))


Okay so there may be one thing that would definitely put me in the stereotypes of “nerdiness”…

And that is that I do love Renaissance fairs! Now I may not geek out enough to go dressed in full costume like a princess {although I might even still do that!} but I get really excited about them, and I get so fascinated by what I find there. And at the very least I'll wear a flower crown like this one here…

So what about you? Can you identify with any of these things I've listed here? I'd love to know what we have in common!
Or maybe you identify with a different “nerd type” ;))
I'd love to hear about you too!

Thank you for reading a story from #BehindTheBlogger Hop. Every 2 weeks a group of bloggers is given a writing prompt. These prompts are very open ended, so our bloggers can write about whatever they desire. The main rule is that their blog post directly relates to the topic of that week. The point of this hop is for our readers to get to know us on a personal level.  Please hop along and read all of the blog posts in this weeks hop. Just click the links below. If you want real and raw emotion, then you will find it here. After you read each post, please comment and share. We want to get to know you too!

Grieving the Living || #BehindTheBlogger

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

A Letter to my friend who has disappeared...

Remember when I used to spend every single weekend at your house?

Remember all the inside jokes we had...and the millions of things we laughed about that nobody else ever understood?

Remember when you would be the first person I would call for every...little...thing? Something wonderful happened and you were the first to know. Something terrible happened and you were the first to know. Something not even that significant happened and you were still the first to know. 

Remember when you were the one who knew me better than anyone else?

I do miss you. I really really do. 
It's been so weird starting to plan my wedding without you. I didn't even call you when I got engaged. I just didn't know how to tell you. I always thought that you would be the one by my side, helping me plan everything...standing up next to me when I got married...tearing up the dance floor with me. But it's not turning out that way. And that's sad for me. 

And even more so, it's been very sad to not be able to share with you all of the other incredibly exciting things happening in my life. The confidence I've obtained, and the competitions and auditions I've partaken in as a result of that newfound confidence. The newfound freedom I've discovered, and unspeakable joy that truly does exist...and that I wish, more than anything, you could find too.

I don't want to tell you things anymore, because I am afraid of making you feel worse. Even though you would be the first one to tell me that I should never minimize my own happiness!

See, my life is so different now. But I really miss having you in it. It has been so very difficult knowing that you are still in such darkness, and that I STILL cannot do anything about it. I STILL cannot help you. And oh, if I could only share with you how beautiful and sweet the taste of freedom is! If I could only help you take that step of allowing the walls around your heart to come down, and allowing God to invade every space and take full ownership of your broken heart. If you could only know what that is come out of the dark and into the light! Oh, it exists! It's the most beautiful,  indescribable experience! But I just fear that even if I tried to share all of this with you, you would still believe that you are too far gone...too broken...too long in the depths to believe the Truth. So I struggle to pick up the phone and call, even though I've learned to recognize God's promptings, and He's been putting you back on my heart more and more. Still my heart hurts too much to see you right now, so I've been ignoring His knocks and His whispers of, "Pick up that phone." It's still too hard, although I'm kind of ashamed to admit it, to be around you right now. 

Honestly, I still wait for the day that I'll get a phone call telling me that you're gone...that you've given up. And I imagine the grief I would experience...the kind of grief that I could never see going away. But see, the thing is, I'm already grieving. Because in a way, I've already lost you. I've lost what used to be the greatest friendship. I miss you so much, but I'm just scared that if I call you or try to see you, you'll just say no because you're feeling too badly. And that's going to make me hurt...again. I know very well that it would be an act of obedience to the Lord if I tried to reconnect with you. But I have to confess that I have doubts that it's going to do any good at all. 

I hope that I can allow God to change my heart towards this situation. He's changed my heart in so many other ways. But right now I continue to hold onto the pain I associate with you and our past relationship. 

Remember when we were the absolute best of friends? Because I do. And I grieve that time. I grieve you, this person who is alive, yet still gone. I hope you'll come back. Come out of this darkness, into His marvelous light. And I hope I'll be brave enough to reach out again, and help you get there. 

But here's the hardest part of this to admit...I'm scared that you think I'm just another person who has left you. I didn't tell you some of the most important experiences I've had recently, and I wonder if maybe you think it's because I don't care anymore. That I've forgotten you. I wish I could convey how untrue that it. But there...there's the real reason I'm afraid to call.

Memories are everywhere. Songs we used to sing and dance to together come on the radio. Dialogue in movies and tv shows that we used to make fun of. Even the simplest thing that a completely random person could say or do will remind me of a joke between the two of us...and yet I can't laugh about it because no one else could understand but you. So I just smile internally at all these things and remember when...

That's grief. Grief for a living human being.

I miss you. 
I love you. 

Thank you for reading a story from #BehindTheBlogger Hop. Every 2 weeks a group of bloggers is given a writing prompt. These prompts are very open ended, so our bloggers can write about whatever they desire. The main rule is that their blog post directly relates to the topic of that week. The point of this hop is for our readers to get to know us on a personal level.  Please hop along and read all of the blog posts in this weeks hop. Just click the links below. If you want real and raw emotion, then you will find it here. After you read each post, please comment and share. We want to get to know you too!

Mega-Church Myths

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Before I started attending Granger Community Church, I was very skeptical about it.
I had spent my whole life in a smaller church. It still used contemporary praise music, which I enjoyed very much…and it was very casual as far as dress. As much as I loved wearing dresses {and still do} there was no rule that said I had to, so I along with the other ladies in the church felt free to wear jeans to our Sunday morning services. Communion was served regularly, I went to Sunday school as a child AND as an adult, I was in youth group through jr. high and high school, and my entire family was very actively involved with our small group. The sermons were very well done and always left me with something to think about for the upcoming week.

My church experience was very…NORMAL.

I'm grateful to have grown up in the church. But it was very difficult trying to leave the church I called my home. I had a hard time finding one I liked in college. I began to just count on coming home on weekends as often as I could, and staying as involved in my church there as often as possible. But after finishing college and then starting to live on my own, I knew I had to find somewhere new to go. It was tough. I just didn't think any other place would compare to the church I loved and missed so much. For months, while living by myself, I didn't go anywhere at all. I had too much anxiety about just walking through the door on my own. And I didn't have any desire to try to find somewhere new to “fit into”. And what if I never found it? But because of this lack of community and fellowship {among other things}, my life was very empty.

Finally, after recognizing how lonely I was, a dear friend of mine invited me to GCC. Like I said before, I was skeptical. In my mind it was the furthest thing from a traditional or “normal” church. I just wasn't sure I would like it.

“It's definitely not for everybody. If you don't like it, my feelings will not be at all hurt.”

It was encouraging to hear my friend say that. And I was very relieved that I would not be going alone.

After attending a couple of times, all of the things I'd heard or believed about mega churches went right out the window. For about a year before I met John-David I continued to go, and ever since he and I met we have gone together {turned out that he had been attending already and we never knew!}.

Now that I've experienced a mega church, and understand what it's all about, I don't think I could ever go back. I wish I had attended first and THEN drawn my own conclusion, before believing the rather subjective opinions I'd heard from other people.

Before I continue, I just want to say this…To each, their own.
Just as my good friend said to me, I will say to you, mega churches are not for everybody.
I am not trying to sway you in one way or another. I am not trying to get you to leave the church you call home and join a mega church. My main objective here is to provide some insight for why anyone would CHOOSE to join a mega church. So the next time you hear someone say, “Oh yeah, my church is a mega church,” you can start thinking of the positives rather than the negatives.  We live in a world where someone always has something to say about what another person does. We are always quick to criticize what others do, then completely lose it if someone tries to critique OUR choices.

Well, I'm hear to share with you a few myths that have been debunked about mega churches, and that I've definitely debunked since my time attending one.

Myth one: The music in the worship service is all about “entertainment”, and it's all for show.

I can easily agree that the music is incredibly entertaining, and can make the worshiping through music experience a whole lot more fun. But the people up on that stage are not doing what they do for SHOW. They are striving for excellence. Scripture tells us “whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart.” And in Proverbs 31, a virtuous woman is described as someone who is skilled in all kinds of arts and activities. She is praised because she creates beautiful things with a great attitude and work ethic, while glorifying the Lord to those around her. God has given her talents to use productively, to further the Kingdom of God. God is pleased with her. And the women AND men I see up on that stage every weekend are all Kingdom Seekers, worshipping and magnifying the name of God. They work very hard at what they do, and their level of professionalism is top notch, but they are not just up there to entertain.

Myth two: Mega churches are too big, and it's impossible to have a sense of community.
It's true that you probably will never know every single person in the congregations. Even people on staff don't know everyone. But there are so many options for ways to get involved and build the community you're looking for. Volunteers are always needed in so many departments. There are needs everywhere that you've probably never even thought of. And my  church, like most others, has an abundance of small groups to sign up for! There's pretty much no way you couldn't find at least one that would fit your schedule to join!

Myth three: Mega churches don't focus on spiritual growth, or theological depth.
This doesn't take much explanation. All I will say is that I've never heard so many incredibly deep, meaningful, thought-provoking sermons in one place, from multiple pastors and speakers who are all so completely different.

Myth four: Mega churches are not diverse.
Yeah... I thought that was the case too before I started attending one. People from all ethnic AND economic backgrounds attend.

Myth five: Mega churches are “in their own little world” and don't focus on outreach.
I don't even think I could count on two hands the ways GCC {and so many other mega churches} reaches out to help and have an impact on the surrounding communities! Our church partners with an incredible community center right in the center of a very low income, inner city area. There, lives are being renewed and transformed all the time! They offer programs for youth and adults alike, and truly display the definition of “love thy neighbor.” And this community center is only ONE of the many ways that the church branches outsides of its doors to share the love of the Lord with the community and the world!


I totally and completely get it if you walk through the door of our church, or any other mega church you may try out, and say, “This just isn't my cup of tea.” It's typically the music that gets people. The music can be hard to identify with for some people. For me personally, it's super important that I love the music because that's how I best connect with God. But if that's not for you, it's not my job to persuade you to stay! That's not my goal here. But next time you jump to a conclusion about what a mega church is really like, let it be an informed conclusion that you've come to yourself. Don't just assume, or believe all the things you may have heard, and create your own version of what is true.