My Heart is Here

Friday, November 27, 2015

Currently, I have about 12 topics for blog posts sitting in my "drafts"...and I'll most likely write all of them. But I wanted to take the time to talk about the blogging EPIPHANY I had last night...and kinda this morning. It wasn't a huge epiphany, mind you, it was more of a realization really. A realization of why I do this whole blogging thing.

I started blogging for THREE REASONS...
1) Writing is a great outlet for me...and I really like it.
2) To encourage people who are going through the same things I went through. To let them know that there is someone else out there who UNDERSTANDS.
3) To educate those who are willing to listen...those who may not understand, but who are willing to try.

I pretty much wrote whenever the inspiration struck. And more often than not, it wouldn't strike for days and days...sometimes weeks at a time. I would get very discouraged because, apparently, it seemed that I wasn't writing what people wanted to read. I would read other blogs written by young women around my age, who had hundreds, sometimes thousands of followers. And I have no idea how they got there. I mean, they had to start from somewhere, right? What exactly did they have to do to attract all of those readers? And why can't I do that?

I do think that writing is a calling for me. I truly think it's something that the Lord wants me to do. But the busyness of three different jobs make me very tired and run down. I don't have the energy to write as much, or as often, as some of these other ladies do. I become intimidated by the other blogs I see, and my brain has its go-to reaction of, "What's the point? I'm not as good as they are." Just like pretty much everything else in my life. I get excited about trying something, then I decide I can't do it, and so I stop. I wish I could just shut this mentality off, and I wish I could just say that I'm going to work on changing it. But, unfortunately, having mood disorder prevents me from doing that {and I've accepted that about myself}.

Even so, I don't want to hesitate to click the publish button. I want to respond to this passion, this calling, that God has pressed upon my heart. I want to follow my own advice to be authentic and real, and to produce material that will be helpful or encouraging to someone else, as well as material that can also be entertaining. I also know that I want writing to be a part of my future.'s time to start getting take this passion from the Lord seriously. I've given this blog a new look that I'm very happy with {simple but pretty}. And I'm no longer going to question whether or not my content is "worth" sharing. I am well aware that there are people out there who are not going to agree with what I have to say, nor are they going to understand why I am sharing it. But that's okay. They don't have to. Even though I don't necessarily fully believe in my ability to do this, I am making a conscious choice to no longer be ashamed of my least not here.



  1. This is a really thoughtful post. I, too, get a sense of inferiority or anxiety when I look at other blogs sometimes - I so badly want to be authentic and true, but in a world of glimmering online lives, it's hard to do in a way that's still fun to read! I appreciate having you with me in the struggle. Thanks for sharing and I like the theme!

  2. That's awesome! I went through something similar, and got back to the core of why I write. It just got things back on track, and made me feel better about my blog. I love your new look, and can't wait to read your future postings.

  3. It is always exciting to feel like you have a clearer focus and purpose! Praying you will find your way and seek Him first as you go! Blessings to you!